Hope

Today my mind is on her, forgive me if it’s my focus.

"Yesterday evening at approximately 6:05pm I said my final goodbyes to my baby Hope. It was a very rough week and it all happened so fast but we knew last year when we battled through her first round of cancer (osteosarchoma) and her amputation that this was always a possibility that it would return. It did and it happened very fast. My fully energetic, sweet, and full of love Hope went from leading my pack of 3 in laps around the back yard to being unable to lift herself up. It has been devastating for all involved. Hope was a severely abused and neglected girl before Jen and Husky Halfway House stepped in and saved her. She was so starved that her eyes had sunken into her head and she could barely stand on her own. I was blessed with the opportunity to adopt her from there. Even after much nursing and rehab Hope was still weak and I remember having to carry her up and down the stairs for the first week or two to go outside after she entered my life. This that is also how my time with my sweet girl came to an end this past week. However I was honored to be able to do so. Even in all of the pain she was in she seemed to think she was flying as I would carry her outside and to my bed and then to various vet appointments... and then her final flight Yesterday. The cancer returned in her spine and neck this time, eating away nearly an entire vertebrae in a matter of weeks. She hardly showed any signs until the very end. I knew something was very wrong when she would whimper when she tried to lift her head up to give kisses. Hope was FULL of kisses and I always said that Misses Hope gives the best Kisses Hope took care of me on countless occasions. I remember when i got very sick with COVID she would climb up and lay on my chest snd between my legs. She always knew when I (or someone else) wasnr feeling well..... I had made the decision last year that when the time came that I would not drag her through pain just to have more time with her. But that doesn't make it any easier. I was there through the final end and was able to do a video call with the lady that first pulled her out of the situation she was in before. As the process started she laid on my lap as she commonly would. And then right at the very very end this girl SOMEHOW... with a cancer eaten vertebrae who couldn't lift her head for weeks lifted her head back and looked straight into my eyes before taking her last breath.

"You may never know this .... but I did not save you, you saved me" That is what I wrote in the memory notebook they had there for her and I've said it for a long time now.

Also, I had bought chocolate for her to have right before... just in case. I heard once that no dog should have to go without tasting chocolate and she didn't.

Hope touched THOUSANDS in her short few years with me. I have messages and videos coming in from countless people that I've never met but were inspired by Hope's journey and I'm heartbroken, devastated, mad, confused, tired and angry, but I'm so full of thanks and gratitude for everyone that helped along the way. And most of all I'm so thankful for you Hope. No matter how much pain you went through you were a beam of light and so full of happiness. You are my miracle in so many ways.

Thank you Jenni Dietsch and Husky Halfway House for everything. I love you guys.

-Bryce Dudley