If we the people, had half the values that dogs do, we would be twice the human.

Morning. Jenni D here.

I was scrolling through my pictures looking for one that would make me smile. Not sure if today will be that day.

Last Friday the world lost a rescuer. She was open and vocal about her depression and mental health issues. I have been following her rescue since the beginning and it’s how I found Cassandra and Cameo, a few of my favorite people.

Mikayla, founder of Save A Fox, killed herself because other rescuers bullied her to the point where the darkness seemed to bring more comfort than the light.

I feel that. All the way down to my soul. The light In this world is always shadowed by evil. Always. Its rescue.

I am not, nor have ever been, suicidal, but I got into this world because the world around me is a place I don’t want to be in.

What I didn’t know was that the world inside rescue is much more dark then it is on the outside and that changes things a bit.

Don’t worry about me. Truly. I tend to choose fight over flight. I grew up watching my family die from a disease that gave death no choice. I truly believe that being alive is the punishment I am meant to endure.

But I hate this world. And I’ll be the first to scream it out loud. I hate it and rescue has made me not just hate it, but fear it.

Currently, I am the subject of another couple of rescuers bullying. They stalk my pages and watch my every move. This rescuer was my best friend. I told this person everything I feared about rescue, everything I feared about my operation and I wanted her help so bad. In the end, I am the joke and it’s bad. It’s real bad. She uses everything I ever told her against me and tells other that I am mentally unstable, unethical and too dumb to run my own rescue.

Rescue is a world I don’t want to be in anymore but my calling is not a choice and since I choose to endure this horrible thing called life, I’ll wake up everyday FULLY AWARE of how horrible it is in here and continue to fight not just for my own mental health but for theirs.

To the nasty rescuers who hate me so. You wont take away all my light, but you took away that thing that keeps the hate away. And because of that, hate consumes my days. I hate you. I hate everything about you and hate how I opened up to you about my own mental health issues and I want you to leave me alone.

This soul that I am holding in my hands right now, they are all that matters, they don’t judge, they don’t get mad at your personality, they dont think you are dumb, they don’t bully you into killing yourself. They are the light. They are my light. And because of them, I’ll stay another day, and every day.

I don’t want to hate anymore. I am not sure how to change that, but I am going to work hard to try. I need kindness in my life and I need to be more kind too.

What can we do to be more kind? How can we make the world of rescue a better place so rescuers can just rescue? I want to work on that now. I don’t like this world of hate. It’s dark in here. I want to be kind.

Today I want to make a public vow. To be kind. To bring light into the world of rescue. It’s something I will have to fight for and something I will have to relearn.

If I was ever unkind to you. I’m sorry. I truly am. To the rescuers I have been unkind to. I am sorry. I truly am. Today I will do better. Today, I want to learn to love,

NOT HATE.

RIP Mikayla. We dont know each other but I will meet you someday, over rainbow bridge.